parenting 101?

chris was in vegas for a stag over the thanksgiving weekend, so i was at home with gabe. thank goodness for my parents...we had dinner at their place every night, which allowed me a break from having to deal with gabe.

our mornings would start out fine, i'd greet him at his crib, open the curtains while he turned on the light, and then i'd get my morning hug & kiss. well, the happy times ended there. as soon as it was time to take off his pj's and change his diaper, he turned into a devil child...the body contortioning, the yelling, the crying, it went on and on. he would eventually settle down enough to get through breakfast, and he was actually happy...he loves his food :-) after potty time, we would get ready for a morning activity, and the "no's" and heel-digging would start all over again. and everytime he had a fit, he'd start signing "potty", so i would offer to take him to the bathroom, and he would change his mind...every time!

i was having car issues literally as soon as chris left, so i ended up borrowing my parents car for the weekend. well, that confused gabe, so every time we got in the car, he would ask for my parents and yell mama and papa all the live long day. because of the 3rd car, i ended up parking in the visitors lot. well, i never imagined gabe getting so upset by it. he freaked out at the fans in the parkade (it's been a constant battle we face at my parents parkade), he was scared as heck of the garage doors opening/closing, and he would get really stubborn and not walk at all. grrrr!!!
once we finally made it to our morning destination, everything would be fine. in fact, everything was fine for the rest of the afternoon. dinners at my parents were good for the most part...my mom had to get stern with gabe when he threw a fit at me (reason unknown). my parents condo was having elevator issues for 2 days, so we happened to get stuck there one night when all 3 broke down. so lucky us, we had to walk down 32 flights of stairs. i was really surprised at how well gabe did...he even insisted on walking part of the way down. he got huge praise for being such a big boy!

and then every night at home, the tantrums would start all over...potty or no potty, wasn't happy with his pjs, wanted dad, didn't like the facecloth he had. every night i would just walk away from him once he was in his crib. i didn't have the patience to deal with anymore of his nonsense. and that's all it was...nonsense. but by monday night, i reached the end of my leash. i was emotionally drained, i was mentally exhausted, i just about burst into tears. instead, i locked myself in my bathroom and took a long hot bubble bath. it wasn't relaxing nor an escape since i could still hear gabe screaming and crying :P

he's been 2 years old for 9 days, and i can tell it's going to be a long year. so, i am doing everything i can now to figure out how to get us through it. a friend of mine actually did the ECE program many moons ago, and she referred me to a series of books they used as a reference guide. so, i'm gonna raise gabe by the book from now on.

i've been trying to think of this as an "off" weekend since chris wasn't home, but the rough nights started 2 weeks ago and haven't let up (he now plays with the light switch...on and off, on and off). i've been checking for any new teeth cutting through, but i haven't felt anything, so i'm pretty sure that's not the problem. obviously gabe's lack of verbal skills is part of the problem...he's frustrated that we don't understand him, and we're frustrated he can't verbalize the problem.

like the dog whisperer says, it's not the dog it's the human. gabe almost never acts up with my parents. and when chris gets stern with gabe, he actually listens...i've seen it with my own two eyes. so it's definitely me. hopefully the book will provide some insight as to how i should be approaching each situation.

in the meantime, chris had his weekend away and i have a toronto work trip next week. i'm thrilled to get some mommy-free time! my hat is off to all the single parents out there!

2 years old!

gabe is 2 years old!

2 days before his birthday, we celebrated my father-in-law, sister-in-law and gabriel's birthdays at the boathouse in new westminster. it was crabfest, my favourite! an unfortunate incident when we were there...the fire alarms in the hotel were set off and we had a table right under the alarm bell. poor gabe was a wreck! he hated the noise, wouldn't settle down, and had to be comforted by me until well after the alarm went off. during dinner he kept obsessing over the bell and pointing at it. i was amused :-)

the next day we celebrated gabe's 2nd birthday at the burnaby central railway with friends and family in attendance. the birthday boy was a bit apprehensive about the train ride (he's been on it before!), but after a few minutes he settled down, much to the relief of the "conductor"! my parents decked him out with a conductor's hat and whistle and took him for a 2nd train ride.

in keeping with the train venue, gabe's bday cake was decked out with thomas the train, and all the party favours were train-themed. ironically, gabe doesn't even know who thomas is, but he loves playing with his melissa & doug train tracks, and always pumps his arms and waves at the skytrain (sometimes we'll sit on the couch for 20 minutes just waiting to see the trains going by - every 3 minutes). yah, it's great :P

in the pre-preparation for his bday party, i told myself there would be no 3rd birthday party :P it was so much easier to plan for his 1st bday since i wasn't back at work yet and had nothing but time to plan. this year felt like chaos...working OT for month-end deadlines, year-end deadlines, aon hewitt merger activities, ugh...i was just exhausted. but after all was said and done, it really is great to see gabe and all of his little friends together, especially since playdates are fewer and far between these days...darn work gets in the way of everything!

i'm not sure if it was a coincidence or not, but gabe's actual birthday was not his best. he had a tantrum in the morning at home as we got ready to go to my office, he had a tantrum at granville island, and then he was uber-fussy when we went for dinner at cactus club with my family (not even the ipod could entertain him). over the weekend his bedtime got all messed up so he was never in bed until 10 p.m. and then he would yell in bed for another hour, so that definitely didn't help matters. i fear 2 is going to be a difficult year with gabe...but hopefully once he starts talking things will get better.

toopy & binoo!

the things parents (and grandparents) do for the kids :-) overall, i'm so glad we went, and thanks to uncle vic for hooking gabe up with the meet & greet!

5 years!

well, this wasn't how i pictured our 5 year celebration to end...with all 3 of us being sick. chris has had aches & pains for a few days, gabe's had a runny nose and drippy eyes since friday, and now i've got the pain in the back of my throat :P

anyways, friday was our actual 5 year anniversary, but with work being so busy and chris not getting home until after 6:30, it was just too hard to go out and celebrate. instead, we ended up shopping @ costco and having chicken fingers for dinner :-)

so we postponed our celebration until tonight and the 3 of us went for dinner @ yew. i couldn't imagine celebrating our anniversary without our little buddy...it would be like a part of us was missing, so i chose yew for its kids friendliness. and i have to say, vanessa was right! the kid menu was fairly extensive (gabe had edamame to start, and chicken strips & fries), crayola twist crayons and colouring sheets, some twisty toy for ages 3+, a fun milk cup, fruit & yogurt...oh my! we usually resort to the ipod before appies even arrive, but gabe was so entertained tonight that we didn't need it until coffee/dessert and by that time he'd been behaving for 1.5 hours! another couple nearby us was so impressed with gabe's good behaviour they stopped by to compliment him :-) so sweet!

enough about gabe! chris and i had a feast...fresh oysters, calamari, beet salad, pork belly, paella, cheesecake w/cherries! mmmm, delicious meal! cheers to another great 5 years of marriage!

if only gabe would hurry up and get to sleep so i can go to bed...

23 months old!

yikes! gabe's going to be 2 years old next month! he and i took a stroll down memory lane this morning and watched some video clips of when he was ~8 months old. gabe's comfort item is a little facecloth and i had completely forgotten how far back it actually goes...he used to actually crawl with it in his hands! i got all caught up in the memories of watching him play with beau, sitting up and falling over, listening to the baby babbles (which still sort of sound the same today...). ah, the memories :-)

gabe has definitely improved his speech this month! he's added papa (my dad), por-por (he will mimic, but he won't actually say it unprompted), jie (short for gou-jie, chris' sister), blue, and mole to his verbage. and while he can't say "train", he will pump his arm for "choo-choo". and yesterday when i was counting the number of trains he has (3), he was trying to count along with his fingers! gabe likes to point at words on tshirts, and when chris spells out the word, gabe will start babbling along trying to imitate him.

while he communicates to us in his own way, it continues to surprise me how much gabe understands from us. he doesn't like it when an activity ends abruptly, so when we can, we'll give him a 5 minute countdown. but if he's not ready after the countdown, then we have a little 1:1 with him and explain how we're all done and it's time for something else. it's been a huge lesson in patience for all of us...watching gabe try to determine whether we REALLY mean what we're saying. his head lowers, his eyes dart from side to side, then ocasionally looks up at us. all the while, i've got my hands on my hips or across my chest, just waiting for him to come around and follow my instructions. sometimes during our little chats, i have to turn around and look away for a sec...it's hard to scold a toddler...he's just so cute when he pouts and i can't keep a straight face! bad mommy!

after a rough week of trying to get gabe to wear his helmet, we've finally had success with his trike. he still doesn't understand the concept of peddling, but he really enjoys going for a ride :-) hopefully we can still ride for a couple more months before it gets too cold (and dark) in the evenings!

new toys! my parents and i stocked up over the summer with new food toys, dishes, shopping cart, chalkboard/whiteboard, books, stacking blocks, train sets...it's endless! it's great to see gabe playing on his own serving food or trying to put the train tracks together. with the new advancement in toys, comes great frustration. as soon as the tracks come apart, gabe starts screaming and yelling for someone to fix it. he also has issues with his shopping cart and maneuvering over uneven surfaces...usually it ends tipping over and he falls on top of it :P

gabe's been a really great helper, whether it's putting his toys and books away, "folding" laundry, helping set the table, baking muffins, and now he can help dry his own dishes!

we're seeing a lot more "dry diaper" days recently, and even more dry nights! occasionally, gabe will wake up in the night and want to go potty rather than wet his diaper. such a funny little guy! i'm excited and anxious about potty training over christmas. he still seems a little young to be trained 100%, but with all his dry diapers of late, he's telling us that he's ready to be a big boy! it actually comes at a good time, because his cloth diapers are getting a bit small for him, so i'd hate to spend another $300 for a supply of diapers, when we can move onto pull-ups or briefs within 3 months!

it's back to school time, so gabe's going to strong start. i've only taken him once to kitchener elementary when we had no plans, but my mom is going to take him this fall on a regular basis. it's great socialization for him to play with news toys, new kids, where they have a little bit of structure. it'll definitely help with the transition to preschool next year! and speaking of preschool, gabe's been on a waitlist since january, so hopefully we'll get into our #1 choice. we're also on the waitlist for our saturday music class which filled up faster than i could register! even if that doesn't work out, gabe will be taking "mom & me dance" with my parents, as well as a christmas craft session in december.

my boy is growing up so fast!

gabe & trevor playing, until trevor breaks out in song!

not so free day @ the pne

admission = $0
parking = $25
30 ride coupons = $42.75
whales tail, root beer, garlic fries, ribs, those little donuts, deep fried mars bar = $40?
stress level = grrrrr!


well, we got 4 hours of entertainment out of our free admission to the pne. it was actually a great morning, and gabe was able to wander around the fair before it got uber-crowded. he could push as many buttons on the games as he wanted, he saw so many things he liked, including rides.


i'm a terrible numbers person, and i couldn't figure out if the jr. ride pass or a pack of 30 coupons was the better deal. turns out we made the right choice for today, since we only managed to get him on the kids train. at least we can use our 27 remaining coupons next week! gabe's not old enough (well, tall enough) to ride solo, so chris and i can take turns going on rides for free with him.





after the train ride, we checked out the superdogs show and the farm animals. by then it was time to eat lunch, and the fair was CHAOTIC. our last trip to the PNE was when i was 8 months pregnant, and all i had to do was watch my belly. this time i was really aware of the crowds and trying to keep an eye on wandering gabe and maneuvering a stroller is not fun. by the time we made it back to playland, gabe was barely keeping his eyes open so we had to call it a day.


i'm really looking forward to next week, and we'll be sure to allot more time for rides!

22 months old!

it's been a really fun summer...with playdates, outdoor activities - we're LOVING waterparks!, bbq's, and everything else that comes our way.

progress with words! gabe's added words to his vocabulary...last week chris' dad came out to dinner with us, and gabe started calling him "yeh-yeh"! once he decided he could say it, he wouldn't stop :P and a new word gabe's created is "da-ma". my mom was hopeful that he was trying to say "grandma", whereas i thought gabe was getting confused when i was teaching him to say "ta (thank-you) mama" but "da-ma" definitely refers to me and/or chris somehow. and the dreaded "no" has returned to his vocabulary :P

his first boo-boo! a few weeks ago, gabe was running along the sidewalk, tripped over his toe, took a flying leap through the air, and scraped his knee. ugly :( a few days later, a similar incident occured and he scraped his OTHER knee. this one was less ugly because his round little tummy broke his fall :) and since gabe hates having dirty hands, he lay there, perfectly balanced on his belly, legs and arms spread eagle so nothing else touched the yucky ground...just waiting for mom or dad to rescue him! hahaha :)

his first suntan! with our weekend outdoors, gabe was in his crocs a lot, and he has a really funny tan from his holey shoes...my mom's calling them foot freckles :) i also took gabe to the beach for the first time in his life...a far cry from the little sandbox at our neighbourhood playground!

outings with the grandparents! my parents have been taking gabe out and about a lot this summer - burnaby heritage museum, the airport (to watch planes land), burkeville, steveston, playdates with other grandbabies, etc. etc. when they head out, my mom tries to pack a picnic lunch and they make an entire morning of it, and i'm the jealous mama who gets to see the fun pictures afterwards :(

diaper-free...one day! one small observation i've noted is gabe quite often has a dry diaper in the morning. we even have days my parents will bring gabe home and he's still wearing his cloth diaper from the morning - 100% success rate with the potty! that's not to say that gabe's potty-trained...far from it. i've given myself the xmas holidays while i'm off work to fully potty-train him, assuming he's talking by then so he can actually verbalize his pee'ing needs. i refuse to teach him any more signs...the last thing i need is to delay his speech further. at the very least, he'll be trained by next summer before he starts preschool!

i LOVE this age! gabe understands what we're saying to him and will respond to our questions with his own quirky "yes" or "no" responses. he's becoming a good little helper, a great sharer, and overall just a cute little man :-) i'm trying to enjoy the non-verbal side of him, but i can't wait to hear what he has to say. it'll be a nice change from the grunting and pointing that he's so fond of :P

doggy days of summer

at the beginning of july, we had newton (yellow lab) in our home for a week, and gabe LOVED it! he would "walk" the dog, lie on the dog, pull his tail, screech and shout at him, and in general, just had a riot with newton. when i got home from returning newton at PADS, gabe was looking all over the house for him. and he'd look back at me, say "ma?" and hold his arms as if to question me "where's the dog?". i felt so bad for my buddy...he tried so hard to find the dog.

and then i got the call to bring home another dog, tango (black lab). of course, i jumped at the chance to dogsit for 2 weeks, and brought him home last sunday afternoon. by sunday night the dog's fate was sealed and he was on a return trip to PADS on monday. where newton was an uber-tolerant dog, the same was thought of tango. unfortunately he didn't take so kindly to having a toddler leaning/lying on him. so after a brief warning growl, and not enough quick action on my part, tango snapped and tried to bite gabe. fortunately gabe was moving away from the dog anyways, and only got a cheekful of dog slobber, but had he been a second slower, there definitely would've been more serious repercussions.

our dogless days didn't last long though! we brought acadia (black lab) into our home a few days later. i jumped at the chance to have her...she was actually raised by the family that adopted nugget and raised his sister (diamond). they have 3 kids in their household, so i knew she`d be fine with gabe. unfortunately at some point over the weekend she got into one of our garbage bins and threw up last night at her new sitters' house :( it was the first time a dog (of any age) has gone through my bins. mental note...close the bathroom doors and cover the bins!

and today i got another call from PADS, and we'll have paige (chocolate lab) with us in mid-August for a few days. i LOVE my volunteer work :-)

farewell

my uncle tosh loved the hot weather, so it seemed fitting for him that we said farewell on the hottest day of the summer (so far). i don't know if many churches are air conditioned, but the one we were at definitely wasn't. it must've gotten close to 40 degrees in the chapel...and unfortunately mid-service the heat claimed a victim. one of the elders in attendance passed out and had to be taken to the hospital. by the time she left in the ambulance, she was conscious and seemed to be ok. phew!

it was a really long day today...the morning service, reception lunch, cremation service, and then dinner at the riverrock casino. there's a story behind the casino, and it's cute :-) july 12 would have been my uncle's 3 year anniversary since he received stem cells from one of his sisters. he really had hoped to be released from the hospital by this date, and wanted his friends and family to join him at the casino for some gambling. sadly, since he passed before this could happen, my aunt decided what better way to honour his memory than dinner at the buffet and some gambling after dinner. the "joke" would be to see who would win big tonight...i was hoping it would be my auntie joyce. the latest update from my parents was that my uncle terry was up $90.

since we knew it was going to be a long and emotional day, chris and i were armed with all of gabe's favourites: goldfish crackers, puffed wheat, mangoes, animal crackers, juice, raisin buns, and most importantly, the ipods :-) the service itself was an hour-long, and gabe was a real trooper. since we had to get there early, we let gabe run loose and burn off his energy and explore, until we absolutely had to be seated. once the service started, so did the ipods :-) for the most part, gabe sat quietly in the pew and watched his cartoons. occasionally he would look around the church, decide it was too quiet, and yell out "ma!".

while it was never my intention to turn gabe into a tv junkie, on days like this it's come in extremely handy :-) as long as he has kai-lan to watch, he's a happy child. even if there's no sound accompanying it, he'll be ok. it's gotten us through this funeral, flights to/from vegas and toronto, car-rides when we need to keep him awake as we run late for his naptime at home, and long (social) meals!

everything else we've tried hasn't been met with as much success...stacking cups, leapfrog junior (even with a kai-lan book!), crayons...he just loses interest rapidly...they have about a 3 minute lifespan :P and now my mom's caving in...she might be buying an ipod for her outings with gabe. this, in addition to the weekly "gabriel" shopping of 3 books and 2 hats she just bought for him :-)


how did our parents raise us without modern technology?!

21 months old!

i've finally decided that it's time to put away some of gabe's "baby" toys and upgrade to new and better toys. so we hit toys r us today and came out with $100 worth of goodies. sadly, we only got 3 items...a shopping cart (he LOVES pushing things around), wooden alphabet / number / word blocks, and a thomas the train mega bloks set. up next...the get out and grill bbq! but first we need to rearrange some furniture in the condo to make some room. and lastly, i found a great activity table today, but again...we need more space :P my mom's also been shopping up a storm for gabe...new shape sorters, stacking cups, swimming pool (which we can FINALLY use this week!), books, and a few more "little" things for him.

we're really trying to emphasize gabe's speech development. i was an average child and starting talking at 12 months old. my brother didn't talk until he was 3, and ended up in a specialized program to help with his development. hopefully we'll avoid this path :P there's a limit to how far we can push gabe to "talk" without frustrating any of us. we thought "please", or a version of it, would be the next word in his vocabulary, but all we've managed to get is serious arm-flapping...sometimes he looks like he might take flight from the flapping. it's pretty funny :)


my parents and i are definitely seeing the 2 sides of gabriel. my parents don't let him get away with murder (as grandparents might do), in fact, my mom is very strict and gabe knows the rules at her house. at our home, we're definitely more "rule-free" and anything goes. gabe also realizes i'm the one leaving him to go to work, so when i get home, he just wants to spend time with me. as much as i would love to sit and play or entertain gabe, my next priority is to get dinner on the table for us. and some days that's the worst time of day...i end up with a tantrumy toddler standing on my feet, pushing me aside, screaming at me while i'm cooking. the other day at my parents house, they were flabbergasted by the tantrum he threw with me since they almost never get this behaviour from him. which is a good thing...i don't have to worry about poor behaviour with the "babysitters", and they get to spoil him rotten. i love it!

it's not only the tantrums that are different, but the eating routine. there have been a few skipped meals at home because gabe won't eat what i've prepared. he's never missed a meal with my parents and eats all of the food presented to him, including vegetables that he's passed on w/me. it's incredibly frustrating to see this deviousness from a toddler, but i'm trying to let it go...at least i know 4 days a week he's getting well-balanced meals from the 4 food groups.

when gabe was a baby, i had the best intentions in the world. i never imagined he'd be a tv-junkie at this age, but with the summer finally arriving, i've gotten a few more headaches than normal so i've got a rotation of ni-hao kai-lan, backyardigans, and go diego go. we've also noticed it's harder for gabe to behave in public, so we've been playing our ipods to keep him entertained and quiet (more on this in my next post).

for now, i think we're seeing a preview of what the (terrible) 2's are going to bring us. parenthood...what a journey :P